This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
