Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize