Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
