I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
