We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
