420 ftw
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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