dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
