Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
