I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize