So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
