at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
