Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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