Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle

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(757): View more from Virginia

I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.

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(773): View more from Illinois

in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.

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