Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.