my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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