cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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