Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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