margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
