we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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