State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
