that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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