She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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