dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.