So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
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So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week