Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited