Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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