I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
