Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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