we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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