I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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