you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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