I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize