I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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