If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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