Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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