Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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