Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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