Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
