So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
