I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize