ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
