He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
