When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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