That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't put those talents on a resume
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
