I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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