i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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