i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
