im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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