i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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