Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
