i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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