dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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