put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
