Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
