Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
