At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
