Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
