Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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