Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
