it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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