Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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