So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
