The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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