toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
