I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
