p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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