I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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