Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
