Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
