sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
