i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
